I did it!

So I got up this morning at 5am and went to the gym. I ran (kind of) 3 miles and then lifted weights. Focusing on biceps triceps and shoulders. It wasn't pretty. My running was slow with lots of bouncing behind me and turned into a run walk and my lifting was with light weights. Still I did it and I feel good. We will see how I feel tomorrow. And Friday when I do it again.

It's TIME

I know it isn't quite the first but it is time for me to start working on this baby weight. I am feeling a little more anxious this time around. Maybe it is because I weigh more now than I ever have (not pregnant) or maybe it is because I am done with the baby making business and now I can get my body back for good. I do have some limitations. My calorie intake will need to be higher since I am nursing for 2 babies, and I will have to ramp up much slower with the exercise. I am finding that these babies have really messed up my body. I am up for the challenge.

My updates will be more for me and to keep me in check. This week my goal is to start going to the gym before work on Monday (not this week since I had it off), Wednesday and Fridays. I am also logging what I eat on myfitnesspal.com. I am not limiting what I eat but I am starting to log my intake.

Wish Me Luck!!!

Is Santa Real?

This is the year that Brenten is trying to figure out if Santa is real or not. Apparently 8 is about the age that kids start thinking this way because other moms have told me their kids are too. With so many reality shows on tv, Brenten is always asking if shows are real or not. It is hard to explain that some reality shows are only kind of real. But that's a different story. With all the Christmas shows on, Brenten has been asking with each one if they are real. And typically I just tell them it is just a story someone wrote about santa or something like that. Finally I asked him why he keeps asking if they are real or not and he said he was just trying to figure out if Santa is real or not. I was not ready for this day. Since he is my oldest I had no idea when it was that kids start questioning it. I just told him that Santa only comes to those who believe. Now I will probably never know if he believes or not anymore. I'm a little selfish so I am okay with not knowing. I can go on believing they are little and still believe in Santa.

baby picts

Landon with both babies.


At the babies 2 month check up Maci was 8lb 10.5oz and Beckett was 8lb 11.5oz. They are both doing well. They are about a month behind developmentally but that is expected since they were so small and preemies. Maci is 21in and Beckett 21.5in. They are doing great. Maci has a little bit of thrush and we are still battling acid reflux with Beckett. Hopefully we can start getting him off his medicine for that in a month or two. They both have a hard time turning their heads in one direction. I am told this is also common for twins because they are stuck in the same small area for so long before they are born. Again it isn't severe, just something we are working on. We are still so happy with their progress.

TwO MoNtHs OlD

My babies are 2 months old today. The time has really flown by. I don't have stats because their 2 month appt isn't until next Monday. I will have to update that later. They are doing awesome. We feel so blessed with how well they have done and continue to do.

At about a month they both got little colds and we were told again that Maci had a high chance of going back into the hospital but with lots of suctioning and the strong little thing she is she came out just fine. I think they knew that I couldn't handling spending any extra time out of our house knowing I had to go back to work soon. (see how I made that about me). It is funny how much I have forgotten since Cait was a baby. They already have their own distinct personalities. Their cries are totally different. Maci yells. It is like she has shout outs and they are loud and if she is mad then their just isn't any breaks between her yells. Sometimes she sounds like a cat. Her nickname is Maci cat. Beckett's cry is a little more whiny and sad sounding. Actually he sounds like a sheep. His dad gave him the name of Squawkbox because he squawked when he ate at the hospital. That is because he has some pretty good acid reflux. He is still on the medicine for that. Hopefully he will grow out of it soon.

They are starting to sleep well (not including last night) but they are starting to more consistently make it through the night. We feed them at 10pm and they have been making it to 7am or later. Yesterday they made it to 8:30. This also means they are starting to be awake more during the day. Most of the time when they are awake they want held but every once in a while they will look around and just sit in their seat for a little bit. This makes it sound like they cry all the time. They are actually really good babies. They are just trying to figure out what it means to be awake and not be eating. :)

I can't wait to find out how much they weigh. They are still in newborn clothes but have definitely graduated from the preemie clothes. And they are starting to get chubby. I know they aren't really chubby but they are on their way. They have fuller cheeks and little rolls on their legs. I love them. Maci also had a preemie look to her when she was born and she is losing that. Maybe it is because I am the mom but I don't think she looks preemie at all anymore.

Usually I am in such a hurry for them to get bigger and get to the next stage but I want them to stay little forever. I love how they are right now.

I will have to post pictures later.

Back to Work

My first day back to work was this Monday. I have really been dreading it. I knew that I would have to work a minimum of 2 weeks because I took short term disability and that is part of the benefits requirements. But I was really hoping that Christian would have something permanent at that point and then I would be able to stay home with my babies. Well, now that the time is coming that is not looking to be the case. He has been contracted for this company for November and December and they will have another meeting at the end of this month. They really like him and would hire him on the spot if they had the funding but as with most companies right now the funding is the iffy part. We are giving ourselves 10% chance of him having permanent work with them after this month. Not that great. It has been a great experience for him even if it doesn't work out for the long term. That is most of my stress is I have a feeling that me at work is going to be much much longer. I just really don't know how Christian is going to take care of 5 kids (2 newborns) and do all that goes with that and look for work. Hopefully the babies will be more on a day time schedule soon but right now one of them is usually crying.

Maybe it is because I know these are my last but I feel like I am going to miss everything. I already am. I come home and I get them during their fussy time. At least I get an excuse to sit and hold them. Today and tomorrow I am also missing my kids Christmas concerts so that sucks. Right now I can think of a million things I am missing out on. I know it will get better and if I do need to work for much longer, I am okay with that and willing to. But I could really handle the economy turning around right about now and some jobs opening up for Christian. I know that he would really appreciate that as well. :)

On a positive note, my work is awesome. I couldn't ask to work for a better company. They have been so supportive and flexible with me. The best part is I don't feel like they are giving me special treatment. They do this for all the employees. And it is a good week to come back. Monday was just figuring where I was at. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten some of my passwords. And then yesterday, work took us out to lunch. Today and tomorrow we are working on sub for santa. Our company took 4 families. How cool is that? Today we also have a birthday party. It is all helping to make the week go by faster.

My Landonman

I am writing this so when i am frustrated with him I can come back and read this and remember how sweet and thoughtful he is.

Saturday I took him to Walmart to buy (with his own money) a present for Brenten and Caitlin for Christmas. He looked and looked at the same Star Wars lego sets. Finally I told him I really didn't want to be there all day and asked if he had decided on which one Brenten would like. He said the one that he would really like isn't here. So I asked him which one he was looking for and so he pulled a little picture out of his pocket that he had cut out after Brenten mentioned how much he liked it. I know I am super hormonal right now but seriously I almost cried at Walmart at the effort he was making to get the perfect gift.

We say Landon is our passionate one. He has the biggest smile, heart and snuggles but when he is upset he is very upset. I love with his big personality we can add how thoughtful he is as well.

Thanksgiving

This was our first year with just Christian, me and the kids. Usually we rotate families but we weren't quite ready to travel with the babies. I was nervous because I have never actually cooked a turkey and taking out the stuff in the inside really grosses me out. Luckily my work sent me vouchers for a turkey breast from Honey Baked Hams. Let me tell you that is the way to do it. All I had to do was warm it up in the crock pot. And it was delicious. Landon (my non eater) had to be cut off at one point. Even though we missed hanging out with family it was so nice and relaxing to have a few days off and just hang out.

WORK!!!

So a year from Christian getting laid off and the same day he received notice from unemployment that our benefit was running out at the end of the month, Christian found out that he got a job. He is working for Change Anything in Marketing. He is contracted with them for one month and they can make a decision from there. No matter what, we get paid in November. It is such a relief. I have really loved to have the help with the babies, especially at night but this is so worth it. Awe it is nice to have employment. We have been so blessed to have what we need when we need it. It has tried our patience but we knew that we have been taken care of. This is just one more prayer that has been answered.

catch up!!

It has been a little while. Sorry this may get long but I am trying to do some of this for me. At around 34 weeks I went in for an appointment and to get an ultrasound. It was then that we found out that our little ones were growth restricted. The little girl more than the boy. I was also dilated to a 3. The OB wanted them to be able to get as big as they could but with their restriction there is a fine line before they are better off out than in. The OB referred me to a Maternal fetal Medicine doctor at the hospital. I had already been going to the hospital for non stress tests weekly. Oh this is also when I was put on bed rest. I went to maternal medicine and they figured out that baby girl's growth had been restricted since about 28week and continued to slow until about 32 weeks where it appeared to have stopped. So this meant that I went into the hospital pretty much everyday. And my blood pressure was all over the place so each time I would go in for my 40 min visit I would end up staying there for half the day or more.

The friday I turned 35 weeks I went in and my blood pressure had shot up to 181/93. They ended up keeping me for about 8 hours. Every 1/2 hour the story would change. First they were going to take the babies immediately and then they were just monitoring me and back and forth until about 3pm when they finally let me eat and then they let me leave at about 5pm.

I went back into the OBs on the following Monday and he said it was the recommendation of the Maternal fetal Med. doc and he agreed that I needed to deliver the babies as soon as I turned 36 weeks.

So Friday the 14th of October, I went into the hospital, and they prepped me for surgery. My first was a c-section and then the next two were VBACs. The OB said I could try VBAC but that there would be a higher risks. I was honestly at peace with a c-section, which is strange since I was so against surgery if it wasn't necessary with Landon and Caitlin.

Just before 9am we went into the OR and they did the spinal and we were well on our way to having our babies here. We were hoping that the extra week and a half since the last ultrasound that they would be a little bigger but they were saying then that they would be about 3lb 8oz and just over 4lb. Luckily they were a little bigger than that.

Maci joined our family at 8:51am weighing 4lb 4oz and 16in long. She took in a little bit of fluid and sounded are gargly. But they suctioned her out and she was doing great.

Beckett came just a minute after at 8:52 weighing 4lb 9oz and 16.5in long. He didn't cry for a bit after and they had to work with them but within a couple minutes he was doing great as well. I was so nervous that they would need more intensive care and that would have to be whisked away. But they were able to stay in there and get cleaned up and I even got to see them before going to the nursery. Nursery, not NICU. Everyone was shocked by how well they were doing. I was informed it was good that they got them out because even though they were doing well, they were definitely growth restricted.

Right after surgery I was super itchy. I figured it was the morphine and percocets and everything else they pumped me full of during surgery. After the dr's stitched me up, the nurses looked at me and my face was turning purple and within a couple of minutes my whole torso was also purple. They pumped me full of more drugs for the allergic reaction. We still don't know what caused it. Also my blood pressure was going up and down. So they did blood work on me again. Because of my blood pressure over the last couple of weeks, I have been tested A LOT for pre eclamspia. It was negative again.

Friday afternoon the pediatrician came in and said he was shocked at how well they were doing but that by that night they would be in the NICU and that we had a 2% chance of bringing them home with us. We made it through the night with no NICU. Again the pediatrician came and said well, for sure tonight they will go to the NICU. And again they were wrong. Every day they were shocked. The babies were really doing well. Maci had to go into the warmer in the Nursery a couple of times but that is it. We stayed in the hospital for 4 days and then they discharged the babies. By then they, had even returned to their birth weight. This doesn't usually even happen with full term babies.

My blood pressure was still a mess. And by day 4, I tested positive for pre eclampsia. I would not wish that on anyone. I have never felt so horrible. I didn't sleep at all that night. I ended up staying another day. What were the chances that 4lb twin premies were discharged before their "healthy" mom. Luckily the pre eclampsia was getting better after 24hours and they were able to discharge me later that day. I am so glad that I was able to go home.

Since then......we have gotten almost no sleep. We have to wake the babies every 3 hours. But they are doing great. We have had a couple of dr appointments for the babies and still the dr.s are amazed with how well they are doing. We are saying they just don't know they are little. They eat like they are big. They act like they are big. They lift their heads against gravity. Beckett rolled to his side at the dr office and they are gaining weight. As of last week, just over a week old Maci was 4lb 10oz and Beckett was 4lb 13.5oz. They are ready to be big kids.

The kids are doing great with them. Cait calls them her babies. And aside from a couple of tantrums she has been doing awesome. Landon and Brenten are the biggest helpers, especially if they are watching one of their shows. They will both just sit and hold them any time I need.

16 more days......

....at the earliest. I was told at my doctor's appointment yesterday that I only had 16 more days until they would welcome these little ones into the world. Until then they would do anything they can to stop it. But at 34 weeks they won't stop it and in fact they would start to encourage them to come. Yes that is exciting and I am SO done being pregnant for the rest of my life. But I can't help but think an extra week or two wouldn't be better. Next week I have another ultrasound so we will see what they think about their size. The last ultrasound I had a week ago the babies were measuring a little small. so I have about 2 weeks to 6 weeks left (they won't let me go past 38 weeks). Anyway, everything is Normal. I didn't even bother to tell him that I have morning sickness again or anything. Really what's the point. Anyway, I'm dilated to a 1 and babies are looking great. Or I guess they are sounding great.

IVF

It is funny when you are pregnant and all of a sudden you body becomes the topic of discussion. When people normally would never tell a woman she is huge or any of the comments that are free game while pregnant. Twins are no different and because I have started showing so early, the comments have been coming for a while. My rational, level headed self knows that this is just what people do and that they care or are curious or whatever. But I don't think it is a secret that I am not level headed or rational right now. To strangers it is easy, I usually just tell them I am due in November or December (I am due in Nov. ) and then fail to mention that there are two and walk away. They look so shocked at how huge I am. Whatever, I should get to be a brat to complete strangers. It is a little harder when comments come from people I know since I am still trying to hold back some of my comments. ( I think I am very funny, but really I think I will probably come across as a grouchy hormonal pregnant lady.)

I have looked on a couple of twin boards online and one common annoyance is people asking if they used invetro (IVF) to get pregnant. I guess I never thought about it. My first thought was that they were just being sensitive. Their complaint was its none of your business how I got pregnant. Okay they have a point but really is it that big of a deal. To me no not really. However, last night I was at Brenten's soccer game and a lady (who I didn't know ) asked if we used IVF. I really didn't mind answering but I was taken back a little. It really isn't any of her business how we conceived. And if we were a couple who perhaps has struggled with fertility this could be a little bit more than annoying.

Landon started Kindergarten

Landon has been waiting for this day. Ever since Brenten started 1st grade last year, we had to start a count down. Needed kindergarten shots (which weren't that bad since he knew he got to go to kindergarten), register for kindergarten, turn 5, summer to start, summer to end, and learn to ride his bike without training wheels. He was more than happy to check each thing off is list and was very excited to go to Kindergarten.

Christian walked Caitlin while Landon rode his bike to his first day of school. I was a little bummed that I couldn't be there but I don't know that he really knew the difference. He played on his play ground (he calls the baby slide) until the teacher called him in. I guess he wouldn't let Christian get a picture of him in line.

It did make me feel good that he wouldn't tell Christian about school when he picked him up but when I saw him after work he told me all about it. It might be that mom's know the right questions to ask. I would like to believe that I am the favorite.

28 weeks 5 days

I had my monthly ultrasound today. With every pregnancy, as soon as I am in the 3rd trimester, I start having issues with the doctors being available. Today was my lucky day for that to start. I left work drove the 30 min to the office and then sat for 20 min and then a nurse came and told me that the dr got called into an emergency c section. So I would have to wait for an hour for him to come back. I figured, even if he saw me in one hour I would end up missing 4 hours of work in the middle of the day. I told them I worked 30 min away so she worked it out that I could come back for a 4pm appointment instead. I still missed 1 1/2 hours of work to not even be seen but he can't really help if he has to go into the surgery. I did ask the nurse if he was really golfing and she laughed and said no. So I left work a little early, (thank goodness they are very understanding) and headed back to the dr.

The ultrasound went well. Both babies are now head down and are looking great. They are only in the 12th percentile, which is pretty little but not too little. We will just continue to watch their growth. They checked the placenta that seemed to be growing into my scar tissue and good news, it isn't anymore. So that means no hysterectomy. Aside from them being little, everything is looking great. I still have to be extra careful to keep my contractions under control, but for now everything looks great. My next goal is to make it to 30 weeks. I'm almost there.

Brenten's first day of 2nd grade

Brenten's first day of 2nd grade. He found out that his teacher's name is Mrs. Weaver and he was excited because he already knows how to spell her name. I didn't get to see him out the door to school this year. I did get to talk to him after I got home from work. He loves his new teacher. Day one down and everything is still going well. Whew!!! Actually I wasn't concerned. He loves going to school, learning and playing with his friends. He was excited to find one of his friends from last year at lunch.

follow up to hospital

me at 28 weeks

Last Friday I had my follow up to the hospital and it went well. It was actually really fast. However, the doctor wants me to get a handicap parking pass by this Wednesday's appointment. I know it will be good but I am that person that parks at the end of the parking lot just to get more walking in. And if I have consistent contractions for more than 15-20 min then I have to go into the hospital. (if laying down stops them then I don't). They just want to be able to stop any labor fast. He is letting me work but if I get contractions then I have to leave and it is also with the deal that I don't do anything when I get home. So I have to be extra extra good.

1st trip to the hospital

I am really only blogging about it because this pregnancy I am terrible about keeping a journal and so I am putting on here with anything else pregnancy related. I have been having contractions for some while. Most likely braxon Hicks but they are getting stronger. Yes real labor when you are getting to the end will be more intense. But with having pre term labor with Cait and then the risk being higher with twins it is not something I am willing to play around with.

Yesterday I was having contractions 4 or 5 an hour. I wasn't terribly concerned since this has been happening but then the next hour will slow back to my norm of 2-4 an hour. But then as the time passed I realized that this had been going on for about 4 hours and neither of the babies were active. and at this point I was having them more frequently. Typically they are going crazy in the mornings (just had a dr. pepper). Not the case so I called the nurse and she called me right back. She sent me into the hospital to get monitored for a bit. So off I went. I hung out at the hospital for a few hours. They gave me a shot to stop the contractions. Which seemed to work and she checked me and I am dilated a little less than a one. Not a huge concern but something to watch. And then she did a test. I can't remember the name of it. But it tells me if my cervix is wanting to deliver in the next 2 weeks. It came back negative. Good news. Things were calmed down enough after 3 hours that they sent me home to rest. I am not on bed rest. They said I could go to work the next day but then nothing after that. So Christian's rule of "If its fun Becky can't do it" is in full effect. The doctor wanted me to schedule for Friday and see how things are going. So for now that is the plan.

A little something funny. When I went in they ask all the questions of why you are here, how many weeks, my doctor and all that good stuff. And when I said 27 weeks the nurses all turned and stared. I forgot to mention there were 2 babies. How could I forget? Anyway, when I said they are twins they all looked relieved. I know I'm huge but that really confirmed it.

2nd shot - the canon adventure

My family is back and I love having them home. I did notice that my house went from clean to a tornado in seconds though. The kids had a great time at grandmas and are needing a little extra sleep to recover. Christian had one the best experiences ever on his trip. Below is a link to the first set of pictures from his trip. Soon will be a 2 minutes commercial online and then in November a 30 second commercial on TV.

http://yoursecondshot.usa.canon.com/blog/

My Diva

Most of you already know or have some idea of what Christian has been up to this week but this is more for me and remember what a great experience he is having so far.

A little background: Last November Christian saw an ad asking have you ever been on a trip and your pictures didn't turn out? Tell us your story and we will send you back on your trip with one of our new great cameras. (Canon). Christian wrote in telling about a canyoneering trip with his buddy Matt and how the pictures did not turn out. Along with his story, he told about how his father got him into canyoneering and climbing with his love of canyoneering.

We didn't hear anything until about February and then the casting crew working for Canon did a skype session with him and then with Matt. After they they didn't hear anything until about a month ago and then he was getting all kinds of phone calls. About a week or so ago it was final. They were chosen for the TV commercial/documentary for Canon. All the particulars were being worked out.

Really Christian was excited to get a chance to go canyoneering and maybe get a camera out of it. It has become so much more. And never having any kind of experience like this it has been a lot of fun.

They got to their hotel Tuesday evening and they meet with their stylist. I laugh every time I think about Christian having a stylist for a bit and that was about it. She talked to them about outfits, nails, etc.

The next day they realized this was a much bigger production than first thought. There were about 30 people there to shoot this commercial. They didn't have to do a whole lot until the even so Christian and his Dad went into Zions and did a little hike and then met Matt and watched an IMAX movie about Zions. They got back and then in christian's words "this Asian lady played dress up with him." He tried on outfit after outfit and she told him if they looked good or not and when he would be wearing them. Funny Christian has outfits.

Yesterday was they were filming. And he had a 12 hour day. I actually didn't even get to talk to him. He called when they were coming off the mountain but he still didn't have very good service so I had to wait to talk to him this morning. I only got to chat for a minute but he is loving it. It is a whole new world. He said if he even mentions he is thirsty or needs sunscreen or anything 3 different people will have brought him drinks and sunscreen. I bet the crew is not used to such easy going people.

He is shooting all day today and then tomorrow he will pick up the kids and come home. He has another whole day of people catering to his every nerve. I may have a Diva coming home and I am not talking about Cait. I can't wait to hear more of what he is doing and to see the final product. Will of this be for a 30 second commercial or what? Still so very cool for us.

Tuesday Christian packed up the kids and went to St. George. Dropped the kids off with Grandma Weaver and picked up his Dad and drove back to Hurricane to the hotel that he would be staying at for the week. I couldn't go because I can't travel more than 30 min and well I'm working as well.

26 weeks!!

Good News!! Typically by now in my pregnancies my blood pressure is starting to go up. (one of the reasons brenten was an emergency c-section) and also usually I barely pass my glucose test. We are talking by one point or so. With twins, I am more likely to have issues with both of these. Well not so far. My bp is close to what it is when not pregnant. (great) and I was no where close to failing my glucose test. Yeah!!! We are knocking out 2 risk factors with twins. Even my iron is good. Well not great. They say I should be tested again in a few weeks to see if I need to go on a supplement but so far so good. She was really shocked because I guess most who are expecting twins have to go on an extra prescription iron supplement by now.

I made it another two weeks and made it to another doctors appointment. This was my first normal appointment. No ultrasound or anything. Just measure, listen to heart beats and ask questions really fast. Babies seem to be great. Now that I am used to having ultrasounds every time I go in I feel like who could they really know with out one. I have my discomforts but they are all "normal" and they don't effect the babies. My latest annoying symptom is that I have 2 numb hands. Now don't get me wrong, I can feel them, they are just all tingly all the time. The one hand has been like this for over 2 weeks now and the other hand just started 3 days ago. The doctor said he wouldn't be surprised if I end up with carpal tunnel. With all the swelling and fluid that I have and now the fluid is in and around some of my nerves. Good news, is when the babies come out it should go away. Bad news, all I can do is take Tylenol. I now call Tylenol the cure all for nothing when pregnant.

The doctor I saw this time is fine but I think he was pre occupied with something else. It was really weird. He was more than happy to answer questions but when I said that is all he was out of there. He stopped mid sentence and then left and kept walking and immediately got on the phone. I kind of followed him and asked if I was supposed to follow him or what. He didn't even say when I was supposed to come back. The appointment before the other doctor had said when I was supposed to be back in for the next month or so. I just confirmed it with the nurse and left. It was so weird. Oh well. I go back in 2 weeks for an ultrasound.

I feel like lately I am the biggest jerk friend ever so sorry if I am acting mean. I really don't mean it. I am hoping one day I will be back to my normal nice self. Please don't let me scare you off.

Update 24 weeks 5 days

I had another appointment today. In 4 weeks I gained 12lbs. I was guessing at least 10 but twins or not that is not fun to see on the scale. oh well. I guess I will have the rest of my life to lose it. Anyway, obviously I am not too affected since I stopped at Sonic after my appointment.

The appointment went well. One of the placentas still appears to be growing into the scar tissue. They will check it again in 4 weeks. If it still looks that way I will go to a specialist to have a look at it and see where we go from there. I am really not that concerned at this point and even with worse case senerio the babies will still be okay.

I did the crappy orange drink today. It really isn't that bad except it gave me heart burn. The babies are looking great. They are both almost 2lbs and are measuring within 2 days of their due date.

Now I go to the doctors every 2 weeks and have an ultrasound every 4 weeks.

24 weeks

Yea!! I made it to 24 weeks. That is the first big goal. If my babies were to come today the doctors would fight for them because they are now viable. Meaning they have a chance at surviving. Of course I don't want them to come today. They are not done growing yet. what I really want is for it to be October right now, the babies out and healthy. Oh and for Christian to have a great job. That would be nice too.

20 week ultra sound

I had the big 20 week ultrasound yesterday. They are definitely a boy and a girl. The babies looked great and are growing well. That is always a relief. The boy is sitting breach still and girl (A) is head down. Essential the boy is sitting on the girls head. I told the doctor if her head is all squished when she comes out it will be his fault. He assured me she wouldn't have a squished head. Because the boy is sitting on the girl's head we couldn't get a very good profile picture. His placenta kept going in front of her. Just another thing to add to why I think little boy is going to be a stinker.

We talked about whether to try for vbac or c section. He said if I really felt strongly I could try. I am anti surgery but at this point I have a few too many risks and am more comfortable with a c section.
1. The boy is breech (which could still change). And if I hadn't had a c section before they they would just turn him after the girl came out but with my scar turning him is a little more dangerous on my uterus.
2. With twins my stomach will get freakishly huge and they just have no idea of how that scar is or how the stretching will wear on my uterus.
3. Kind of the big one at this point is one of the placentas is looking like it could be growing over my old c section scar. They will watch this and recheck it again in 4 weeks and in 8 weeks to see if the placenta moves. If not, then when I deliver I will require a hysterectomy. Kind of crappy but at least they can watch for it and do what they need to do. We are trying not to worry about it until we know for sure if it is even going to be a problem.

I have my next ultrasound in 4 weeks and we will see what happens from there. Oh and Christian is proud of himself because he again made my ob laugh. It was a little funny I guess. I will have to give him this one.

Babies are Moving

I have been able to feel the babies for a little bit. And for a week or so I could feel them big enough that I was sure Christian could also feel, but I was usually at work. I don't feel them enough that I can do kick counts or anything like that but it is reassuring when I can feel them. Last night Christian felt baby A (girl) for the first time. I think boy might be a stinker because he would move when Christian would walk away. That is always my favorite part with when Christian can feel them for the first time. Now I can't wait for Brenten and Landon to feel them. I think they will get really excited.

more doctors - 18.5 weeks

I had my 2nd appointment this week yesterday. Tuesday afternoon my heart rate went up into the 90's while sitting at my desk. I got all hot and felt like I was breathing all loud. I called the nurse after an hour and she was going to call me back. She called me back about an hour and a half later. At that time things were good again and heart rate back in the 60's. I told her what had happened but that I was feeling much better. She was nervous and asking if I had been to a cardiologist. Just enough to make me nervous. She set up an appointment for me the next afternoon. Yesterday afternoon, I went in and got another ultrasound and the babies looks great. He said that because my uterus is the size of 30 weeks pregnant (with one) that any one position for too long, (sitting or standing) will cause the blood to pool to my legs and then my heart will pump harder and faster to get more blood back up. Makes sense. So now at work I get up at least every 30 minutes to walk around and if it gets really bad then go to my car and lay down for a minute or two. Wow this is a whole new experience I am having with these little guys.

Oh side note, today I felt baby B (boy) and baby A (girl) move big enough that I could feel it on the outside of my stomach. Of course by the time I got home they were not moving at all so Christian has yet to feel them. Soon enough I am sure.

More stuff I can't do!!!!--18 weeks

I had another doctor's appointment. One cool thing about twins is everytime you go to the doctor's before 20 weeks you get an ultrasound. It isn't in detail. Actually it is really fast. He just checks the heartbeat of each and then makes sure they are still measuring well. Good news!!! They look great.

I understood and was warned that I wouldn't be able to do as much this time around. I get that but it seems the dates I was thinking or were given have not been realistic enough. I had to quite soccer a few weeks before the end of the season. I just couldn't run like that and worried about taking a shot to the stomach (which has happened, before I was pregnant). I had to give it up at about 10 weeks when I thought I could have made if through the first trimester. Christian got me kicked off the softball team 3 games and a tourney before the end of the season. Okay I understand most of you are on his side but I don't care. In my mind I had already said I would play the first season and then I would have to sit out the second season. In my other pregnancies I played until about 8 months pregnant. And didn't quit, the summer just ended. I thought I was being realistic.

Yesterday at the doctor's appointment I was told that I can't travel anymore. Okay wait, I can travel but I have to stop every 30 minutes to walk around and then I can't drive because well, I need to be able to fairly constantly move my foot and leg around. I believe there some other rediculous stipulations but I pretty much tuned him out at that point. So essentially he told me no. I was told that after 20 weeks I wouldn't be able to travel. But I figured I had 2-3 more weeks. So I had a trip to Boise and St. George planned. Both foiled. I am trying to tell myself that stay-cassions are very in right now. I told Christian we will have to do some fun little things around here.

He wasn't useful for any of my symptoms (they never are) and ended the visit with, "good thing these were your last ones because well it is easier to stop after a really hard pregnancy and hard babies then after an easy pregnancy and a good baby. And well even if your babies are good there will be two so it will be hard. " Who says this. I know he was trying to be a little funny and light-hearted about it all because he knew I could have kept him in there a long time complaining. I do actually like him and my sense of humor is similar (if I weren't so grouchy).

That all said the babies are doing great and that is really all that matters. I just have to make it 4 more months and that really isn't that long. And a bonus is I am feeling them move a lot more consistently now and I can usually tell which baby is where. That is really cool.

Kicked Off

It was a bad news weekend. Actually the weekend was fine. But my husband ruined it. We had this great time hanging out with our friends the kids were all pretty good and played upstairs. We went to leave and I was getting the kids in the car. Christian said he had to go back in and get his phone. Whatever. Little did I know, he was in there telling them how mad I was going to be but that I couldn't play softball anymore. With one baby, I have played until about 8 months pregnant. He said that he was going to do it earlier in the day and I told him he better not. Apparently I don't get to decide. Now even if I were to go back to them and tell them that I am fine and Christian is being ridiculous they wouldn't let me play. I do see his point. I understand that I am uncomfortable a majority of the time and the little bit of activity I do have makes it hard to walk for a couple of days. And so yes perhaps it is time to back off of yet another thing. (I won't admit that to him) That isn't really the point though. The point is he did it to me with out me having a choice. GRRR. I should have written this days ago when I was really heated. Poor guy. He knew I would be mad but he had no idea what was coming.

Ultrasound

Today I am 16 weeks. Yesterday my friend was nice enough to let me and my family come to her work and she did an ultrasound for us. I was mostly excited because I could see their little heart beats and see they were okay since my next doctor's appointment is 2 weeks away still. Rationally I know that sounds ridiculous but when I can't count kicks yet, it makes a difference. And of course, I have heard every horror story of twin pregnancy and twin birth. And really I remember those more than the easy healthy twin births.

At my last doc appointment, I was told that there was one placenta and that they were identical so we had told the kids they were either boy or girl. This of course meant some explaining to our 7 year old of why boy/girl twins can't be identical. I have since learned that I have had to explain this to some teenagers and adults. Usually they just think for a minute and then feel a little silly. Even very smart, educated people have been tripped up by this. Amanda started the ultrasound and said that baby A (one closest to the cervix) is a girl. (she was 80% sure) and then she went to baby B and said well, they are NOT identical. Sure enough baby b is obviously a boy. She then went back and checked baby A again to be sure and got a better view. We are fairly certain we are getting a boy and a girl. You should have heard Brenten squeal and then say "there will still be more boys". Aside from not being able to get rid of any sex of clothes just yet, we are super excited. I figure with my competitiveness it will probably be better if they don't have to try out for the same position on the same team. And now I don't have to worry about not being able to tell them apart. Amanda did some measuring and got us some great pictures. I will scan them in and add them. Hopefully today. I am so glad she was able and willing to do this for us. Yes we could have waited 4 more weeks but now we don't have to. And now I can start vetoing all of Christian's ideas for names. :)

Oh also because they are boy/girl, there are 2 placentas they just got squished or fused together. To be clear the babies are not stuck together just their placenta. (That is for my friend Jenn who asked if they were conjoined. )

Dr. Appt. #2....of many

Yesterday I had my second doctors appointment. I have gained a 1/2 lb in the last 4 weeks so we are up to 5lbs. I have been pretty sick. I am guessing the weight will really start piling on soon. I didn't know they would do another ultra sound so I was pleasantly surprised when they did and it wasn't because they were concerned. I hate the stage where you can't really feel them consistently yet so you don't really know they are good until you go to the dr. appointment. I was really concerned something would be wrong even though have not had any cramping or bleeding or anything that would indicate a problem. I think most people are this way. I know they will be uncomfortable and even annoying when they are both moving around in there non stop but it will be nice to have the reminder that they are good. Anyway, it was just a quick ultrasound. Babies are looking great. I was at 14 weeks 3 days and they were measuring at 14 weeks 4 days and 2 days. So that is great. The doctor also said that he only sees one placenta. So that means we are having identical twins. Will I be the worst mom if I can't tell them apart? Even though there is only one placenta they still have a divider in there and so they both have their own fluid and nutrition which is good. Another high light of the visit, is I have a headache non stop for about a month now and they turn into migraines 1-2 times a week. No fun. I can't go on the medication for it so he said to start my day with a coke (or Dr. Pepper) and some tylenol and continue as needed. Guilt free soda in the morning....priceless. However, today is day one of trying it and I am so jittery. But so far, no migraine.

My next appointment is in 4 weeks and then after that I move to every 2 weeks. I can't believe how much I am going to have to see the doctor.

My Birthday!!!!

5 years ago I got a birthday present that can not be topped. I started to go into labor with Landon. The best gift was knowing that baby was coming out. We didn't end up sharing a birthday but it was close enough.

Anyway, this years birthday my cute Brenten would ask me days in advance, "who's birthday is in 3 days" And would have the sweetest smile. He gets as excited for our birthdays as he does his own. I try to tell Christian not to bother with a cake because we have one for Landon's birthday the next day. But he always does.

He felt bad for me this year. I have had morning sickness, and then yesterday morning I woke up with the stomach flu and I had already had a migraine that I couldn't get rid of. I went to work. I don't even know why. I made it until 2 and then left.

I got home and Cait was asleep and the boys were so good so I got almost a 3 hour nap in. And then I moved to the couch. I can't say I did a whole lot of anything. Tash and Malyssa came over and brought me a cute birthday bowl of goodies. I love it and can't wait to eat some. And then the kids and Christian had mac n cheese. I told Christian I wanted a rain check on my birthday dinner for when I could eat it. After dinner they brought me in my cake and they all sang. So cute. Even Cait gets into it. And then they each gave me their presents. Christian got me a new watch and I love it and the boys got me a frame and a level. The joke is that I never measure or level my pictures I just put in a nail and if it doesn't look good I take it out and try again.

I took a bath. and laid around and got to pick all the tv shows because as Brenten put it " You can do what ever you want. Its your birthday". He even told Cait no Dora cause it isn't her birthday.

I love my sweet family. They make my day even when I feel crummy.

Landon is 5!!! Happy Birthday!!!

He has been looking for this day for months now. He has been counting down all the things he needed to do before he could go to kindergarten. First he had to have his kindergarten well check, (aka shots). He has checked that off and then kept asking when he starts going to school. That is when we told him all the things that had to happen before he started school. Next on the list was turning 5.

Happy Birthday to my little buddy. Landon has the biggest heart. He loves to snuggle and will give Cait kisses even if she punches and yells at him. And he can be sad but will still give you the biggest smile. I love it. This morning he was all sleepy and got up to go to the bathroom and before he went back to bed I told him "It's your birthday" and he gave me his big grin and laid back down.

I can't wait to go home and give him the biggest hug.

TWINS!!!!

We are expecting again and this time there is a little more excitement involved. We are having 2 babies. It is still very overwhelming. So much to do and so little time before "my belly is so big that I won't be able to get off the couch" (that's what Brenten told me). He did follow with that's okay I will bring you food. What a good kid.

Sorry the rest will be boring but I want to remember........

Let's start with the important stuff. My due date is 11/11/11. Which makes me 10weeks and 4 days pregnant. I went to the doctor yesterday and had a little sit down chat with him and then he did the ultrasound. Right as he put it on my belly I saw two black circles (their little homes). But then he zoomed in on one and did some measurements. I was really just telling myself it was my imagination. Then he said "do you see the blinking, that's the heart beat" and then he zoomed out and said "And there is the other heart beat". I really do think I had a panic attack. That is what I am guessing. My chest tightened and I was breathing uneven and apparently my face was all red. I ask a few random questions and he told me a bunch of stuff that I am sure I will have to ask about again. Then I left to go tell Christian. Does he have a panic/anxiety attack when I tell him. Nope. He just said, I knew it last night. I couldn't believe how calm he was. He made me sit for a while before he would even let me drive home. I was glad that later in the evening he just kept saying 2 babies, so maybe there was a level of freak out that he was just hiding better then me.

One thing we found out at the docs appointment is that I have to have a c section. Brenten was a c-section but I have had 2 very successful VBACs since (vaginal birth after c section). But now with 2 they don't know how my uterus will stretch and what my scar tissue is like. I guess the one positive is that they can tie my tubes while they are in there.

People have asked if I have had any idea. Yes I have known for weeks. I would say I was in denial. For every experience or symptom I have had, I had a justification for it. That being said I did keep joking about it to a handful of people. Part of me felt I was just being dramatic.

-Right after I found out we were pregnant, I had a couple of dreams that they were twins.
My sister had 2 twins almost 2 years ago so maybe that is why it is stuck in my head.
-I got sick starting at 4 weeks. I mean sick sick. And I normally have morning sickness but nothing until 8 weeks. Actually I usually don't even feel pregnant until about 8 weeks and then it all hits me.
I figure I am super busy and pretty stressed so that is why.
-Extreme tiredness. I mean complete exhaustion. Yes I have been tired with the others but this is so tired all the time that breathing seems like an effort tired. Which is getting a tiny bit better. Still tired but I am able to breath.
My excuse, I'm old and busy.
-started showing really REALLY early. Normally by 10 weeks I am telling Christian I am showing and he laughs at me. This time I am bigger than my niece who is nearly 20 weeks pregnant. I don't even fit in my fat pants anymore. I can wear them but they are unbuttoned and unzipped. Crazy. I am going to get HUGE.
It is my 4th (well now I know 5th too) but maybe I am showing early because it is #4 and my body just knows what to do.
-I saw my brother last weekend and he asked how far along I am and I said 10 weeks and he looked at my belly and said "Are you trying to be like Amy and have twins". I laughed and said Not funny.
Brothers always say stuff like that. All boys think they are funny and brother think they are funnier than most.
-The night before my appointment I felt the baby move on one side of my belly. You know the fluttering movement. And then I felt it move on the other side of my belly. Knowing my baby is barely over an inch long, and that there is no way it could be felt on both sides at the same time.
My thought: Stop thinking there are two, when you are only ready for one.

I think even amidst all my denial I should have been prepared. But really I don't think you can really ever be prepared for when you see them on that little ultra sound screen.

We are really excited. They must be such best friends they didn't want to to be separated. Now to get ready. WOW we have a lot to do. Like...where are 5 kids going to sleep. :)

Soccer

Christian and I started playing indoor soccer in December. It has been so much fun. It is with a lot of the same people that we play softball with. Christian is good at soccer. Me on the other hand have lots of room for improvement. But I think I really have improved over the last few months. We are now in our 2nd season and am loving it. And on Monday night I scored my first goal. I even cheered for myself. I am really starting to get a hang of it. That being said, I still have LOTS of room for improvement.

Movie Day

Last Friday my work was having a "team meeting" at the movie theater and we watched Rango. We could bring family but it was a matinee and that meant Brenten was in school and Cait needed a nap but that did leave Landon available. Christian was awesome and met us at the theater at 11:15 and Landon and I had a little date paid for by my boss. We had popcorn and drink and Landon loved the movie. He didn't even know that he was coming or what he was doing when Christian pulled up and I had him get out and took his car seat. After the show he went back to work with me. I only had about 1 1/2 hours left. So he came to work, got a drink and a cookie or two (one of the other ladies brought cookies in ). And then he colored pictures and watched shows on my ipod while I worked. I am glad I got to do that with him. I knew he wouldn't be a problem, but my co workers were impressed with how quietly he sat and did his own thing. Now that I am working I really miss all the one on one time I used to get with my kids. I am glad that my works gives us an opportunity or two to have some of that time back. We just have to be more scheduled about it now.

Brenten's Surgery

Brenten had surgery a couple of weeks ago. He had tubes for the 3rd time and his adenoids out for the second time. We were told they could grow back but didn't really think much of it. Well they grew back with vengeance. A couple of months ago he went in to the doc for a routine check up 6 months out from his last tubes surgery. And that is when they told us his one ear drum was a little flat but he was getting over another ear infection so that was to be expected. We went in a couple weeks ago to follow up and it was still flat and he has a little flap of skin on his ear drum. For both the answer is tubes. The doc wanted him in sooner than later and so he went in 2 days later for surgery. Tubes is such an easy surgery. We didn't know what to expect recovery wise with the adenoids because the last time we he had them removed we did tonsils too. Apparently, adenoids are a fairly easy recovery. He had to recover from the anethesia and he had horrible breath and some referred pain to his ears but he went back to school on Friday after surgery on Wednesday. He was so tired after school and for the rest of the weekend that we probably shouldn't have let him go. The day after surgery he told us he can taste again. Poor kid. Who knew he couldn't taste. Anyway, he can taste, talk, hear and smell better. I am so glad it does not have to be a big deal to take care of these things on my little guys body.

CAIT is 2

I still can't believe my baby is 2. Too bad she thinks she is 15. (thanks to the neighbor girls). When we found out she was a girl, I didn't know what to do with a girl. Slowly I have gotten used to it. Thank goodness because she is ALL girl. Yeah she will wrestle and play cars and anything else the boys do but really she loves ponies, babies and her boots. The girl is going to be a show addict. Anything she thinks is a girl color is purple and requires a squeal of excitement. She loves skirts and having her hair "pretty". She is really talking so well. She is not necessarily a princess but more a deva. She is way to loud and demanding to be a princess. It doesn't help that Brenten will do anything for her.

For her birthday we did a small family party. She loved everything about it and sang happy happy for the rest of the week. (her rendition of happy birthday). I didn't have time to make a fun cake so I just did a chocolate one. When I got home Christian had done it all up. It looked great. He says I take away his masculinity any time I tell someone.

She got a very cool doll house my parents made for her and so we all got her little things to go in her doll house. I knew she would love it but thought maybe she was still a little young, but she LOVES it and plays with it all the time.

Date with Brenten

Brenten has been really good lately but really clingy too. I guess with Cait being angry with me gone all the time. I kind of forgot that maybe my 7 year old may be struggling too. On Sunday we were sitting in church and he has both arms wrapped around mine, head on my shoulder, and legs over lapping mine. Never mind that I had a wiggly, whiny, nap deprived 2 year old on my lap. I have to say I pulled a bad Mom moment and told him he had to get off of me. I couldn't move at all. He looked so sad. So I told him we needed to go on a date by ourselves so that we could hang out with out anyone else. He was excited. He wanted a movie or something but honestly, we don't have time for a movie. But he was happy with frozen yogurt in Saratoga Springs. So yesterday after work I got home, Brenten and I went on our date. It was so cute. He was just beaming to get to go with me all by himself. He jabbered all the way to the ice cream place. And then he opened the doors for me. Because he said "We're on a date and I am a gentleman". After ice cream we went to Walmart and looked at legos. I asked him if he was going to hold my hand and he asked, "Does Dad hold your hand when you go on dates" and I told him yep. So he held my hand. I think maybe I needed more than my little guy did. It is priceless when you can have those moments and create lasting memories.

Now I have a problem. Landon thinks we are going on a date tonight. I told him we can go next week.

Please tell me the gym at 6am is a good idea

Usually I have things ready to go and have a much better morning at the gym, but not today. This is how this morning went.

5:20 am alarm didn't go off (come to find out one cute little girl played with it yesterday)
5:30 left for the gym
6:00 at the gym and go to the cinema room to run.
I ran 4 miles and then my knee cramped up and I had to stop a couple of times. I get another mile in and then the treadmill makes a weird sound and yep I broke it. The belt or what ever came off track and I about fell off. Let me tell you it was NOT graceful. So I give up.
I went out to lift weights only to find that the size I wanted wasn't there. I did some other weights and then went to go shower.
I get out of the shower to realize that I forgot my towel. I looks around thinking what am I going to do because I am dripping wet. So I had to use my sweaty gym pants. It was gross and they are not very absorbent. I started getting dressed only to realize that I forgot clean socks. So I had to go without. It was so gross. I guess at least my feet were clean but still. So that was my day at the gym.

I did still get a good workout in but wow it did not run smoothly. Maybe I could have used that extra hour of sleep.

Great to be 8

Sorry this is more for me and my memories.

We had the opportunity to take Brenten to Great to be 8 at the stake center last night. It is so strange to see Brenten and all his friends old enough to be attending things like this. We were about 1/2 way through Brenten looked up at me and asked "am I getting baptized today" he was so excited. I almost felt bad telling him no. Then we got to walk around and see what they will wear when they are baptized and where they will be baptized and then Christian and Brenten got cake while I served cake. Christian told me later their little conversation.

Brenten "I felt the Holy Ghost today"
Chrsitian "Oh yah what did it feel like"
Brenten thought for a minute and then said "I don't know"
Christian "Did it feel hot or cold"
Brenten "Hot or warm and then my heart beat really fast"

I am so excited for Brenten to have more and more feelings of the Lord in his life.

Christmas

We had a great Christmas this year. We love being able to stay at home and enjoy getting up Christmas morning in our jammies and messed up hair. I had a couple of days off work so that was nice too. We were able to get a lot of family time in. It is great. Christian made the comment to the boys that they could get up when they want to in the morning and look at their stockings but to not wake up Cait. I laughed at Christian when he said he didn't think they would get up until 7. I told him at least 6. I was even wrong. They were up at 5:45. I love to hear them squeal as they run down the stairs that Santa had come.

We had a very special year. Christian has been out of work and I had just barely started. We felt the support of neighbors and family. It was overwhelming to feel so much love around us. It gave us many opportunities to talk to the boys and to teach them of service and many other lessons that we learned this year.